


Youngblood

by voicesinblue



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Crying, Drunken Confessions, Falling In Love, Hate Sex, Heartbreak, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, M/M, Makeup, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:26:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voicesinblue/pseuds/voicesinblue
Summary: Chan believed that Felix would always be his.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Youngblood

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first language so i'm sorry for any mistakes
> 
> inspired by: youngblood — 5 seconds of summer

Bang Chan wasn't the type of person who gave his heart, actually, he wasn't even the type of person who would turn to look at you twice even if he wanted to. His complicated life had taught him to be able to analyze the situation, to know what to get into and to avoid, many people concluded that perhaps they had not wanted him enough as a child, but honestly Chan had all the love that someone can receive, his parents loved him, his siblings and he had a good relationship, as well as a group of friends who knew how to understand and accept him as he was, he was just a little reserved.

The brunette believed that with what he had he was quite happy, but it was not until Lee Felix came into his life that he realized everything he was missing. Felix was tall, blond, with mesmerizing eyes, a captivating smile and adorable freckles, attracted Chan's attention since the moment he stepped into the small bar where he was with his friends celebrating the birthday of one of them. The older watched him interact and smile, somehow they exchanged glances for a moment and, aware that not every day someone called his attention more than the strictly necessary, he knew that he had to intervene. With a slight movement, he separated from the table he was on and went to the bar ordering a beer while taking a seat, he didn't know what he was waiting for, but he knew it when he heard it.

"Its occupied?" Somebody asked beside him, he didn't have to turn to know who it was.

"If I said yes, what would happen?" He tempted his luck.

"I would sit down anyway."

The blonde sat down without another word and then ordered a beer, the same as Chan, and they were silent for a few seconds, seconds that allowed the black-haired man to assess what was happening. He felt nervous, he had never been so good at trying to carry on a smooth conversation but he didn't want to look bad, so he decided to let go because there was nothing wrong with forgetting insecurities for a moment, and if it didn't work, he could at least think that he had tried. A soft murmur stopped the thoughts he had to start a conversation.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"With a condition."

"Which one?"

"Tell me your name." After all, he was not going to leave the place with a _total_ stranger.

"Felix," He replied immediately giving him a small smile. "Now, it's only fair that I know yours too."

"Chan."

"Very well, Chan, follow me."

They could say that's when it all started, Chan following Felix in the rain of lights that the city offered them a freezing February morning. A small bond formed between the two as they strolled through the streets talking about meaningless things, they discovered that they had similar tastes in music, they studied at the same university, although they hadn't met before, and that both were equally lost, and when Felix offered him to help each other to find themselves the dark-haired man could not say no, not when the cute eyes of the blonde observed him with all the lights reflected in them, it was a spectacle, one he did not want to run away from.

When it started to dawn they both took their course, they didn't say goodbye, there was no word of farewell, just small smiles to then continue their ways. Chan, being quite negative, stuck to the idea that they would surely not see each other again and said he was fine with it, but it wasn't until the next day when he was walking to his first class that he realized how wrong he was. it was. On one side of the door was the blonde and when their eyes met, they smiled.

"You found me." He stated without being able to erase the smile from his face.

"It was a little harder than I thought, but here I am." A soft blush crossed his cheeks and disappeared as soon as it arrived.

"Maybe it will be better to swap numbers this time."

"You always have the best ideas, Chan." They laughed as they wrote their respective numbers on their cell phones.

They ran into many more times the following weeks, sometimes to talk or simply accompanied each other to the next class in silence, small glances always intervened, that was different from everything that the brunette had experienced but he found himself excited with the infinity of possibilities that were shown before him. Now they were sitting at the table in Chan's small apartment, lately they spent time there because Felix lived with another couple of people and they had no privacy, at least not the one they would like.

"Did you ever feel what they describe as being in love?"

The question took Chan by surprise, but after giving the blonde a glance, who was also watching him, he thought about it. Had he ever fallen in love? Of course he had dated other people but if he thought about it it hadn't been anything serious, laughter, empty words and crooked smiles, so he remembered the few dates he had had, except a few times where they ended up in a room and with one of they waking up and leaving before the morning arrived. He sighed, playing with his fingers, deciding to forget the homework on the table for a moment, and answered.

"Actually no."

His companion nodded to lean back in the chair, although he didn't say it, Chan knew that he was also looking for an answer to his question, it was the way his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were lost in the decoration of the place that made him understand that, and he patiently waited.

"Me neither, or at least that would have answered a few months ago."

"And now? What changed?"

Felix's hand wrapped around the hand the older was holding on the table, and, giving a new look to those dazzling eyes, he understood.

"I think I'm falling for you."

He said it slowly, almost like a whisper, perhaps if the silence hadn't been almost absolute, he wouldn't have heard it. They observed each other, both fearful of what to say or do next. Chan clenched their hands and interlaced their fingers giving him a soft smile. As much as he hadn't found himself in love before, it was impossible not to see and feel the signs, it was impossible not to feel complete when they were together, but he was still not sure and decided to take a risk.

He got up and then signaled to Felix to get up too. His fingers released, and as soon as that happened, the black-haired's fingers landed on the other's waist, joining them in a hug, a somewhat awkward and delicate hug. They moved around in silence, the blonde's hands landed on Chan's shoulders, nerves running through him, but he knew it would be fine. The older boy's lips placed a kiss on one of the younger's shoulders, and then another on his jaw. They caressed each other with affection and, without realizing it, their noses collided, their eyes met again, and with just a glance they knew what was about to happen. The black-haired one left a soft kiss on the corner of his partner's lips, smiled when he realized that Felix had already closed his eyes, and without wasting any more time he closed his, their breaths mixed, their bodies met and finally, their lips came together.

The kiss caused different emotions in the stomach of both, that soft gesture raised them. They kissed softly, enjoying the taste of each other, their hands caressed the skin they could, played with each other. The older man's hands reached into the blonde's shirt to caress the skin of his back, delighting in how good it felt. The air began to lack and they separated, both letting out a sigh.

"You're not the only one who is falling."

They smiled for the tenth time that day, but this time it was different. The kisses and caresses were present the following days, they walked with their hands clasped and when they said goodbye the short kisses appeared, luckily for both they remained the same, the same Felix and Chan who months ago met in the small bar some streets down , and although neither of them had returned to that place, it was somehow special.

Minho, one of Chan's closest friends, had noticed the close he had turned with the blonde and, knowing that his friend deserved some love, he was happy that he had found someone willing to give it to him.

"Shall we talk about Felix or will you keep pretending that I don't know what's going on between you two?" Minho said one afternoon of study between them.

There was a pause, but the older knew there was no reason to continue denying it.

"I didn't know how to say it." Chan admitted.

"I understand."

"You know that I have never been very open, this that we have with Felix is so special that I'm afraid that it will be ruined."

That murmur caused the light gray-haired man to pay more attention to what was happening.

"Min, I'm afraid of losing something for the first time."

Saying it out loud for the first time made Chan realize what he was getting into, he felt his friend's arm wrap around his shoulders in some attempt of hugging, and although it wasn't the best, it was quite comforting. He felt understood and in a small atmosphere of peace, he knew that no matter how rude Minho became, he would never judge him.

"Listen to me, Bang. We've been friends for a long time and I've never seen you half as happy as in the past few months. I know you, and I know that head of yours, stop thinking about what's going to happen, so what if it ends? At least you came to be able to love and be loved. Felix makes you happy, I think you should remember that when you are invaded by insecurity. " He gave him a small smile. "You should introduce us by the way, I'm defending him and I don't even know him!"

The laughter echoed in the room, and although Chan never thanked Minho, and never told him either, that was the little push he needed to get to a higher level with his bright-eyed boy.

They walked through the streets holding hands, Felix had been talking about his day, the way he got excited about the little things and the warmth that gave the small wrinkles that formed under his eyes kept the brunette fully aware of each detail, every pause, every word.

"Felix." He interrupted the blonde before he knew it.

"Tell me, Chan." He said calmly giving him a soft smile.

"You make me happy."

Despite the lights around him, Felix's face lit up.

"You make me feel alive." He answered.

There was nothing more to say, Chan clenched their intertwined fingers delicately and began to walk. Soon they were back in the warm space of the older, Felix already had some belongings in the place, he had even found himself calling it 'home', it was something incredible. What they had was something incredible.

The black-haired one took off his sweater once in the bedroom, ruffled his hair, and sighed. A couple of hands caught him off guard stroking his chest, they got into his shirt making him shudder, he was slightly surprised by the new sensation. Until now they had had nothing more than rather innocent kissing and some caresses sessions, but this was something that was not expected for now.

"I need you, Chan." Those words were enough to bring him back to reality.

He swallowed, turned his body facing his lover, all the doubts that he had disappeared when glances collided and they joined in a passionate kiss, his lips seeking to dominate the other. They kissed with intensity, ferocity, and in a moment the older pushed the younger making their lips part and the blonde sat on the edge of the bed, Chan joined their foreheads while he caught his breath.

"Are you sure?" He asked making sure.

"It is the second time that I am sure of something." The blonde muttered, placing his hands around the dark-haired man's neck. "And the first was when I saw you for the first time."

They smiled, the words remained in their throats because it wasn't time to speak, everything was already said, so Chan did what he had never done before; he made love with the beautiful boy who owned all his thoughts, and although it wasn't their first time, it was the first time together and they decided to make it special.

The clothes disappeared from their bodies and, before they knew it, their bodies were covered by nothing more than the delicate fabric of their boxers, they were glued together while kissing with love, Felix's hands went down to Chan's ass and he pressed against him pulling a soft moan from the brunette, his limbs stroked furiously on the fabric as his lips began to drop, they sucked hard on each other's necks, left traces of love on the body of the other.

"Wait here, little one." Felix flinched at the nickname as he pouted watching Chan get out of bed and disappear into the bathroom door, and when he came back he did so with a condom in his hand.

It was happening, he was giving himself up and he felt so convinced that it was the best, the warm-eyed one would never hurt him. So when he got back on top of him and rejoined, he let go.

Chan brought three of his fingers to the blonde's lips and, with a smile, asked him to lick them. He almost moaned at the great show Felix offered him, the way his tongue wrapped around his fingers and how he sucked them in caused his member to twist desperately under his underwear, he couldn't take it anymore. He removed the last garments and with the three fingers prepared the blonde for what was to come, and once ready, in addition to putting on the condom, they joined into one for the first time. It was a symphony of moans and curses from both of them, the older one growled trying to deepen each of his movements while the younger one twisted under each action, his fingernails scratching his partner's back, but neither of them cared about anything than to please themselves, to feel or to love each other, Felix screamed when his sweet spot was touched in a deliciously painful way. When they reached orgasm they both came with a gasp, and before they knew it they were huddled together, pampering each other.

"Move in with me." The brunette murmured with nervousness in his voice, which turned into confusion when he heard the blonde laugh a little.

"I practically live here."

"Still, I want you to live with me."

A comfortable silence formed between the two.

"Will you help me bring my things tomorrow?" They smiled and left a soft kiss on each other's lips, they wished that the moment would last forever.

The love they had was quite impressive, people who observed them could see that they fit in a unique way.

"I'm yours." Felix muttered one night, and Chan believed him, he seriously believed him.

Living together had been something he had quickly become accustomed to. Both contributed and managed in the best way they could, while the blonde cooked the black-haired man cleaned, always everything equally and both were delighted with the small home they had created, their little escape from the world.

Chan had been quite busy studying the past few days, exams were approaching and he needed to focus on each one, as he was a person who always tried his best. The papers and notebooks filled the table in the living room, it was almost two in the morning and the brunette kept going over all his notes with a cup of coffee next to him. His messy hair and lost look indicated that he was exhausted, but he refused to stop reading his notes despite being sure that he knew everything.

"Channie?" He listened from the hall, he murmured in response, returned to his things believing that the blonde had returned to sleep, but a little later he appeared on the threshold of the door that connected to the room, his body was covered by one of the older's shirt. "You have to sleep, you barely close your eyes."

"I'm fine, Felix, go back to sleep." He said without even looking at him, the younger bit his lip denying, action that the older didn't see.

"Please, Channie, let's go to sleep." The named sighed in surrender, he couldn't say no.

"Okay."

The brunette left everything on the table as he was promising himself that the next day he would go over one more time before his exam, but when his fingers intertwined with those of his lover and, once in the bedroom, they lay down hugging each other, he knew that there would be no way that the next day he would want to separate himself from the warmth his body offered him. Chan got the highest mark in all his exams, of course.

All those memories were beautiful, each word, each kiss and each caress was engraved in the older's mind, just like every second they spent together, they all burned as if it were the first time. But sadly, now it was just that, memories. Memories that invaded Chan when he went to lay down in his empty bed every night, a bed that he used to share with his little ray of sunlight.

The words of love were disappearing, the smiles were fading and the caresses were cold and forced, he had to suppose that this was the beginning of the end. He remembered the little things they were starting to fight about and felt his heart shrink.

"How many times have I told you to put the clothes in the basket?" Chan growled as he turned to the blonde. "You mess up the room."

"I do, I just forget sometimes."

"Don't do it next time."

The older would give everything to have those little fights again. Rising from bed and putting on his jacket, he decided to leave, and an hour after he found himself in a bar a couple of blocks away from where he lived, and was already going for his fifth shot of tequila. Chan wanted to forget, but before he knew it it was two in the morning, his cell phone stuck to his ear, dialing a familiar number.

"Chan?" He replied sleepily.

"I miss you." He muttered between babbling.

"You have to stop doing this, you get drunk and call me at least a hundred times."

"I don't know what happened."

"We don't work, Channie." And the call was cut off.

The occasion was repeated a couple of times, he couldn't avoid it, he couldn't get that out of his head, and once at home he only saw memories on every wall of the place, happy memories. One day as he sank into the sadness of his thoughts there was a knock on the door.

"Minho?"

"I miss you, Chan, you have been this way for months, I know that Felix was your great love and it hurt but you need to start to overcome." Said the, now, blonde as he crossed his arms entering the place.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I need him, all of the time."

Sighing they sat on one of the sofas in the living room, his friend gave him a smile.

"I will be here whenever you need me."

And that night Minho spent with him, they laughed and talked until dawn, they fell asleep in the room as if they were sixteen again, a part of Minho wished it was that way.

In the course of the days Chan decided that he should speak to Felix, so it was eight o'clock on a Thursday night and he was at the door of the place where he was told he was living. When Felix answered the door he gasped in surprise, not expecting him. When speaking everything was uncomfortable and painful, but one of his bad jokes made the blonde laugh, he could once see the small sparkle in his eyes and without thinking twice he kissed him, kissed him hard. They ended up in the younger's bedroom caressing each other with rage, they made love until they fell from exhaustion, they slept hugging and, for the first time in months, Chan slept with a smile on his face. But when he got up and realized what he had done, he put on his clothes, and giving Felix one last look he left.

They met several more times to try to talk about their situation, but they only ended up sleeping together, one of them always left before the other got up.

"I want you out of my life." The brunette murmured one of those times, after meditating on the disaster that the two of them had created realized that it couldn't be love. You didn't _use_ the person you love, and that's how he felt.

"You know that no one can take my place." And it all started again.

Chan started to ignore Felix in college, he was running away from him, whatever they had was toxic and unnecessary in his life now, he wanted love, he didn't want meaningless sex. He had missed him so much, but not in that way, he missed the boy he met almost three years ago in his freshman year of college, not the one he hang out with, not the one he slept with.

He got up from Felix's bed ready to go, he had done it again. He dressed quickly, but couldn't open the door before hearing him.

"I want you in my life." The blonde said.

"You don't know what you want Felix, that's why we stopped working." He murmured with a bitter taste in his mouth. "I give you everything I have, and you just take it, I got tired."

"You promised to love me until the day I die." He whispered in a broken voice, but the brunette promised himself not to be weak.

"When I did I thought you were mine." Chan admitted. "And I thought you always would be."

"Don't leave me, Channie, you know I will crawl back to you."

Chan said nothing, he opened the door to Felix's bedroom to go to the living room and collect his belongings.

"Chan!" He screamed, but the older wasn't going to fall again.

Felix's roomate, Hyunjin, came out of his room watching him, sighed.

"It was about time." He muttered.

"Goodbye, Hyunjin."

And turning around, he left the place, a place he didn't intend to return to.

**Author's Note:**

> social media:
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/voicesinblue)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/voicesinblue)


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